Seriously, is losing a wedding ring a big deal?

Today I have two stories to tell, both sad. I had a bad dream last night and blame that for all the things happened to my friends today.

 

I’ll start with the first one. Today I was going to lunch with Leila and Bethany. As soon as Leila showed up, we knew something was wrong. She lost her wedding ring. At first we were all shocked, but it got even worse since she was not worried about the ring, rather her husband’s reaction. That was more of a bad news for me! Why can’t you be honest with him? Why are you even afraid of him? Losing a ring isn’t a big deal. It happens.

Now I have to tell more about their relationship (as much as I know). They met in the university when she was in a bad place emotionally. The interesting thing about their relationship is they have 20 years age difference. No kidding! From the surface, they really seem to match. James acts much younger than his age and she is more mature than a girl her age. However, underneath the hood, they fight all the time. Apparently James has a bad temper; A really bad one that makes her scared. To be honest, she doesn’t seem happy which upsets me.

And now the wedding ring is lost. She is so afraid that she even wants to secretly get the exact same ring without him knowing; however, even that might not help her. According to her, he may have already found the ring and just wants to test her. That drives me crazy if it is a possibility. I can understand a little prank but not really taking that as an excuse to fight with her. The situation gets worse when I understood she doesn’t have money of her own to buy the ring even though she is working. Unbelievable! Don’t you think that it’s necessary to have your own bank account even though you might have a shared bank account as well? How would you even buy gifts for one another? It’s not just that though; he is watching the account so closely that she cannot make any unexpected moves. They are well off, but she is not allowed to spend on the things she likes. She has to play some tricks of her own to get away with it. For God’s sake! She is working, but has no control over her money. No wonder she is not happy. I think she needs to (wo)man up and take control of her life in many aspects. The thing is that I cannot help her. I don’t want to be involved in that, but at the same time, it kills me seeing her so weak and unprotected. How would you tell her that it is not normal to be afraid of your husband? It is not normal to not to be able to spend your own money?

 

I am so frustrated of all that, I will tell the second story in the future post.

Have you ever assumed your friend is not able to date a handsome/beautiful guy/girl just because of their appearance?

Okay, I am going to start with Bethany. She is thirty years old, intellectual, and she is fun to talk to because she has been all over the world and has random knowledge of everything!  She is a good listener as well, but it is a mistake to talk with her because she is a blabbermouth (who am I to say that though :-D). So what does she looks like? Not so attractive. She’s short, has a chubby, round face, and of course she wears glasses.  I don’t think she’s very comfortable wearing dresses even though I think it brings out the girl in her. All in all, Bethany does not have the look that you think can easily find a date. I was surprised when she told me about her previous dates. She was even engaged once in her life (I’ll get to that part of her life in future posts).

Now, one of our other friends (who has a story herself) arranged a double date for Bethany next week.

The story started when four of us were having coffee. Our friend Lucie brought up a guy who is looking for a girlfriend, and wanted to know if we know a person that wants to go on a date with him. I half-jokingly said how about Bethany. Bethany quickly acted that she wasn’t interested, but we all knew how much she was. I don’t even know the last time she dated anybody! Instantly it came to my mind that she might not be anybody’s type though.  Lucie went further, looking her up and down to make sure she is dating material, which I know hurt Bethany’s feelings. Why did we all assume nobody is going to be interested in her? Leila even told her she needs a makeover, and I said I will take care of it to just stop that conversation. The whole time I was thinking that I don’t want her to get rejected right off the bat.

Is it okay to never take a chance because you think you’ll be rejected?

The next day, Lucie told me she talked to the guy and he seemed interested, which surprised me. Of course, the first thing that came to my mind was probably the guy is so desperate. How mean is that, right? We checked him out on Facebook and he wasn’t too bad; not a person I would date, but he looked good for Bethany. How judgmental of me? I hated myself for thinking she isn’t capable of attracting any guys because of her look. I’ve never seen anybody flirting with her and vice versa. Now  we are all telling her to get a major makeover. She is fine with that.

Our plan before the date: make her wear a cute dress, get rid of her pony tail, add some make up, and get a manicure and pedicure. We can’t do much about the glasses! Maybe we are going over the top, but we all want to protect her. Maybe it will make her not be herself anymore, but we are not going to risk her having a bad date. I just want to know what she thinks about all that? Is she excited? Is she nervous? Are we making her even more nervous by trying to change her natural look? Are we destroying her confidence or giving her confidence?   

The love lives of others

I just created this blog. It is going to be me talking about my friends’ love life, dates, desperation, loneliness, and fun times. I will try to keep them as anonymous as possible but also share their personal life with you.

I have always been interested in knowing more about the personal life of others. I thought that might be interesting for you as well. People around me are all ordinary people that you might come across in the street, supermarket, hair salon, or shopping center, but they have some interesting things going on in their life that made me excited to have a blog to just discuss their situations and the decisions they make.

I am often very opinionated which makes it difficult for me to listen to my friends’ stories and not express my mind right off the bat. This sometimes hurts their feelings, but I guess they know me by now. However, I definitely don’t speak my mind completely; I have learned my lesson.